#GoldenGate
- A.J. Voiles
- Jan 11, 2017
- 3 min read
Is Trump Just Pissed Off, or Pissed On?
We all know that our soon to be President has a big thing for gold. Gold apartments, gold planes, gold watches, golden hair, golden… showers? Well if you’ve seen the new rumor floating around that last part might already sound familiar to you. But in this world of “fake news” what do we really know about this scandal and Trump’s alleged debauchery?
The Rumor
Now hold on to your hats, because this is a bumpy, confusing ride. The short of the rumor is that Trump, being the deplorable that he is, went to Russia and was greeted with state sponsored prostitutes who put on a piss fetish show for him. Not only that, but allegedly, this act took place in a hotel room that the Obamas were known to stay in and the Kremlin had the room bugged as to keep some leeway over Trump. Now you might be saying, “This is just absurd! Why would any of this make sense?” and we aren’t even into the thick of it yet.
The Ever Expanding Reach of 4chan
So from what I have gathered about the situation, this is another 4chan backed conspiracy, only not exactly in the way of Pizzagate. You see, there is a Conservative pundit named Rick Wilson who has been outspoken about being against Trump. At one point, he referred to users of the 4chan board /pol/ as “childless single men who masturbate to anime”. Now however true this might be, this was a bad mistake. Users began spamming his Twitter, e-mail, and anything else they could harass him by. Then, according to the lore, a young man took things into his own hands.
Rick Wilson acts like he doesn't like hentai
The Revenge of the /pol/lack
So as a “childless single man” the average 4chan user is said to have too much time on his hands, and time is exactly the weapon you need to take on the big boys. The story is that a user convinced Wilson that he was also anti-Trump, and that he had sensitive information on our President-elect. From this, the user allegedly wrote a 35 page dossier detailing how the Kremlin has Trump in a vice grip of blackmail. The dossier is riddled with spelling and grammatical errors, and not much verifiable information. Seeing that the source didn’t seem very credible, Wilson passed the information to Evan McMullin, the former CIA operative that ran as an “Anti-Trump Republican” and only gained traction in Utah due to his Mormon roots. It then got passed to John McCain, who gave it to the CIA. Knowing that it didn’t make sense, but could still be useful, the CIA allegedly leaked it to Buzzfeed (I know), and the article has now gained over 3 and a half million views.
Unverified screenshot
The Official Story
As of right now, the CIA is claiming that this document is credible, and that it was prepared by former British intelligence officer Christopher Steele. The big takeaway for the CIA is that Trump is being blackmailed by Russia, and that is why he’s so soft on Vlad Pooty. Personally, I see this as nothing more than an attempt to undermine Trump’s already low credibility. But hey, I’m not a spy, and everybody has their freaky secrets.
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