ArbyLeaks

For the last 52 years, Arby's has been known to the American public as beloved fast-food restaurant that serves roast beef sandwiches and jamocha shakes, but what if I told you it was a front for something more sinister. As a former employee of Arby's (I won't give my former position in the company but it was pretty high up and you're just gonna have to take my word on it and if you don't believe me you’re part of the problem), I’ve been privy to many of Arby's secrets. What I am about to tell you will forever change the way you view Arby's. My life may very well be in jeopardy by exposing them, but you, the public, deserves to know the truth. I'm essentially Julian Assange, but this isn't WikiLeaks. This is Arbyleaks, breh.

My first exposure to the underbelly of Arby's was at a company meeting on July 2nd, 2011. We were discussing a rebranding of our roast beef after a significant decline in sales the previous quarter. After a few minutes of brainstorming ideas, a person, who for their own personal safety their identity shall remain nameless, off-handedly mentioned we should try introducing a chemical agent in the roast beef designed to make customers crave Arby's. We all laughed at first. Then it got ominously quiet.

We knew we were onto something big league.

After months of painstaking research and clinical trials on numerous test subjects, we finally isolated a chemical compound that once ingested by the host, gave them cravings similar to that of an individual who had been a long time heroin user. Really, we added trace amounts of heroin to the beef, but I'm legally not allowed to say that. Wait...fuck I just did.

But the most eye opening reveal of Arby's came about on a visit I made to one of the restaurants on a routine store check. During a store check I look to make sure everything is running smoothly; smiling customers, fresh food, store not burned down to a crisp. The usual stuff.

I made my way to the front register where I was greeted by an employee named Kyle. I ordered my meal of a mid-roast beef sandwich, curly fries, and a small drink.

Kyle looked at me, smiled, and said, “Your total comes to $7.47, sir."

Suddenly, he began to laugh to himself.

I asked, “What’s so funny?"

"Oh, you get it? 747? Like the type of plane that flew into the World Trade Center on 9/11?"

"What", I replied.

"Next in line", Kyle yelled.

I was puzzled by Kyle's off-hand remark, so I took note of it to bring to the board of directors at our next company meeting. We can't have our employees spouting off about national tragedies over curly fries.

However, when I brought it to the board of directors at the next meeting they seemed unfazed. I found this troubling, so I continued to press the board about the potential ramifications of allowing our employees to spew 9/11 rhetoric and how the combination of jet fuel and roast beef could destroy our brand. They then abruptly fired me and told me not to press the situation any further.

I couldn't let this stand so I decide to do some digging and what I discovered was unfathomable. The connections were in the name itself.

Aleppo, Russia, Benghazi, Yemen, and Syria stands for A.R.B.Y.S.

Our enemies have been under our noses the whole time and I unknowingly had been working for them.

Look at the shapes of the potato cakes and apple turnovers, sheep!

Terrorism, it has a face and it looks like this

Since this discovery, I have now made it my life's mission to bring awareness to the people by going after Arby's their social media account and demanding the truth.